everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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