after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
