At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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