it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
