Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
