Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
