I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
