I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This is my gift to your gina
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
