There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
