In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize