they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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