He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
