Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
