I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
