I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is it because I queefed?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
