Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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