she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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