Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
