it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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