it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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