Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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