My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
