3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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