Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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