Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Walk of Shame today included voting.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
