what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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