Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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