Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
