just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
