Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
