I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
