Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
