That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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