I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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