she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize