I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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