i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
