Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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