I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
