What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
