do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
