That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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