highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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