just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
