then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
