I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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