I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
