i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
