HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
