he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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