What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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