Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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