I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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