I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
