its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I came so hard my ears popped.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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