white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
