....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
